I believe there needs to be a broader conversation that takes into account these 'covert' acts of violence.
I will give some personal accounts to make my point. I realise there are drawbacks to using personal experience, however, I will, as in relation to these experiences at least I can talk with authority.
A girlfriend I once had broke up with me. Although painful, as I loved her (and still do in a way), I am not counting that as an act of violence. The violent act was short time later, when I was walking towards her on the way out of a social event and she made a point of throwing herself into the arms of another man and giving him a passionate kiss as I walked past (ignoring me of course). That hurt. I hit me like a king-6. I could hardly think straight afterwards, and actually it threw me into a state of depression that pretty much incapacitated me for some months. Here was someone I loved who had done something horrible to deliberately hurt me (so it seemed anyway). I believe it was an act of retribution for refusing a recent request from her to continue our relationship on a 'casual basis'. Perhaps she thought I refused her out of spite, but actually it was because such a relationship would be too painful given how how I loved her, better a clean break (I had been used in this way before, and it was not pleasant).
Anyway, my point is that this act hit me harder than physical (domestic) violence, and I have some experience with that. It hit me much harder than the time when I was 11 years old and my father knocked me to the ground and repeatedly kicked me for having my elbows on the table at dinner time. The two events have led me to conclude that covert violence is much more damaging, and perhaps much more prevalent in many ways, than physical violence. And I think it needs to be discussed. This is not a matter of blame - although causes do need to be identified, but rather of recognition of the many ways people can be hurt and damaged that are not physical. In any case, it would not suprise me at all to find there is strong connection between people exhibiting physical violence and having been victim to spiritual violence in some way at some time.
So I put this proposal to you - to consider not just our physical life, but the perhaps much more complex and fragile spirit life in each of us that can be brutalised and damaged in so many subtle, and unsubtle, ways.
PS: I am not angry at my father for the various things he has done. - he is after all a victim of his own father. But how do we do we stop the cycle of hurt (physical and spiritual)? I think a start is to recognise it. Just as we have started recognising and talking about domestic violence, these other behaviours also need to be discussed, and a deep look taken at various causes and how they can be dealt with with understanding and compassion and not just as a means of laying blame.