I beg you give up this obsession with sin and the self-hatred and the criticism of others that necessarily comes with it. See it for what it is - an effort to make the preacher seem ever so pious and everyone else compliant and dependent on the church for absolution, for self-esteem, and as the authority that can decry others unworthy thus allowing its own members to feel they are better than others. Better than the outsiders, the lost, the sinners! And to further cajol people into its grasp, the established churches continually stirred up fears of hell and God's judgement.
Leave all this aside I beg you - focus instead on Jesus' message of love. God does not want to condemn you - and furthermore I bet you that He does not even blame you if you are selfish, greedy etc. Who would He blame? Probably your parents for not raising you better, for not teaching you properly. And their parents for not raising them properly, etc. This is depicted in the story of the "fall of humanity" - how problems accumulate over time, with the 'sons' (further generations) carrying the consequences for the sins and failings of their forebearers.
Rather than you, He is more likely to blame all the people you have encountered that have brutalised you, bullied you, treated as a "resource" for some purpose - i.e He may well blame the 'attitude' of not recognising that a human has worth just in him or herself - and should not be valued on how clever they are, how strong they are, how beautiful they are or how useful they are to someone else for some short-sighted, worldly purpose.
Can people not see that the traditional established churches and industrialism share the same spirit of controlling others? The spirit of using people to satisfy the greed and egos and desires of their leaders? The spirit of not valuing people except for how they can serve and obey and believe these 'leaders'?
So what does Christianity say? What is the truth that has been used, distorted; dragged into the mud of human desires and manipulation?
Christianity says that God DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR SINS HE CARES ABOUT YOU! Does God warn against sin - yes - as sin carries consequences which will make you and others unhappy. But does he blame you? Would you blame someone for breaking laws that they do not know or do not understand? Would you blame someone who cannot control themselves or help their behaviour? If you wouldn't why should God?
God just wants for you to be a happy, well developed person. Why doesn't He show Himself then? Why doesn't He come teach us Himself? Well firstly, the answer is: He did in the person of Jesus. Secondly, he does not want to rule using fear as many of the churches have done, as many governments have done and still try to do now. Imagine if God did appear on Earth and did start proving His almighty powerfullness with various miracles - would that help anyone? Not a single jot! Most people would be terrified by such evidence of an all powerful God - just as people in the past have been terrified of churches, secret police, etc. So can you become a well rounded loving person when ruled by fear? Not a chance! Thus God does not appear to us and prove His existence with miracles. And how else could He prove Himself - other than by providing the most wise teaching as He did 2000 years ago? Few people then accepted His teaching as evidence of godliness, and probably even fewer would today.
By not using miracles to prove He exists He proves instead how little we have to fear Him. How He will never use His strength to scare us or force us to do anything against our very own will. He will even allow and witness the most appalling atrocities against innocent people rather than use force or coercion to stop it. However, should you turn to Him seeking help, sincerely wishing to become a better person, then He will do miracles. He will turn His hand to you and lead you with all strength and gentleness. Under His guidance all your problems and cares will be removed, with the greatest possible love, tenderness and care. But He will never force you, and He will never lead you, or accept you, if you approach Him out of fear - as with God love alone rules. And keep in mind that God does not work the way our worldly institutions do and answer for yourself the following question:
1 Corinthians 4:21 What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?
PS: Of course Jesus (i.e God) did do miracles 2000 years ago, but two things need to be clarified: 1. These miracles were predominatly for healing etc, thus showing God's goodness and how little He is to be feared. Even the cleansing of the temple was an act of mercy, not anger. And more importantly: 2 Miracles do no harm to whose with a strong spirit and particularly those who already believe in God, have faith in Him and love him. Thus my statement that God will not do external miracles, applies in the general sense that they can be witnessed by all humanity, but He may well perform miracles in front of select groups whom will not be harmed by them.
PPS: Note, that God purifies His teaching where-ever it is given, thus we are told not to take offence at the practices of the churches, but rather to hold on to that gem of truth and spirit that lies within them regardless of what dross is laid on top.